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A Clean Slate |
Chapter 1 |
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I envisioned this story as the New Year's episode of Season 8. Of course, it focuses on Susan and Carter, with a minor appearance by Kerry Weaver. I have no idea what the other characters are doing during this episode ;-)
"Dr. Lewis!"
Distracted by the calling of her name, Susan Lewis paused in mid-sentence to look at the source. Frowning, she deliberately turned her back and continued to speak into the phone. "Uh, so if you could please call me as soon as you can. Thank you."
"Dr. Lewis!"
Placing the phone down, she spun around, not bothering to disguise the exasperation in her voice. "What?" she barked.
The man gave her a hopeful smile. "I've been waiting almost fifteen minutes."
"Just go back to your room, Mr. Snyder. I'll be there in a minute."
"But you said that fif--"
Cutting him off, she jabbed her index finger towards the hallway. "Go to your room!" she ordered. She didn't feel a smidgen of remorse as the older man's face fell in dejection. As he turned around, she was treated to the sight of his bare bottom, peeking behind the open hospital gown. Shaking her head, she glanced up to find John Carter smirking at her from across the admit desk.
"You don't look old enough to be his mother," he commented, looking as if he was barely containing a laugh.
She rolled her eyes at him. "Please! Don't give him any ideas, or he might want me to spank him," she said dryly. "He's a little too anxious for his rectal."
John gave her a quizzical look. "As in, he actually wants one?"
"Oh, yeah. He's a strange one, all right."
"Want me to take it?" he offered.
She smiled at the hint of concern he displayed. "He's almost seventy years old, Carter. I can handle it. Besides, I just might forget to lubricate if he gets too rowdy."
He chuckled and leaned forward across the counter, lowering his voice. "You have any plans for tonight? We haven't talked about new year's eve."
She also found herself speaking in a low tone, though she didn't know why. There was no reason to keep their relationship a secret and yet, she hadn't told anyone in the ER about it either. "No plans. But I'm not off until nine."
"That's okay. I'm off at six, but I can hang around."
"I'm sure you have better things to do," she murmured.
He paused for a beat, blinking at her. "I would rather wait for you."
His simple reply pleased her. With a sense of horror, she felt the heat rising in her cheeks. Damnit, only Carter could make her blush like a teenager. What was wrong with her? "So what are we doing?" she asked.
"I don't know. What do you feel like doing?"
A corner of her lip tugged upwards. Now they even sounded like a pair of teens. "I don't know either. Not a noisy bar."
Shrugging his shoulders, he straightened up. "Well, I guess we'll think of something."
"I better examine Mr. Snyder before he comes looking for me again."
"Be gentle, Susan."
She smiled serenely. "We'll see."
***************
The day was steadily busy but not too overwhelming. Susan made frequent checks on a young woman who was in Stage four ovarian cancer. She had been in massive pain and respiratory distress. They were doing all they could to ease her breathing and manage her pain, but her chart was DNR. Frankly, Susan wasn't sure how much longer the woman would hold out.
Entering the room, she walked as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb the patient's sleep. Looking over the monitors, she picked up the chart.
"Is he coming?"
With a start, she gazed down at Maria Hull. "I thought you were asleep."
"No, just resting. Is he coming? Did you talk to him?"
"No, I just got the answering machine so I left a message." Her eyebrows knitted together as she noticed Maria's shallow breaths. She was struggling just to speak.
"You didn't say it was me, did you?"
"No, I didn't mention you," Susan reassured her. "I just asked that he call me at the hospital. I didn't give any explanation."
"Could you...could you..."
The wheezing was getting worse but Susan understood what she wanted. "I'll call him again." She started to leave and then hesitated. Obviously, the decision had already been made, but she had to ask the question. "Will you reconsider the DNR? You still have a chance to fight this."
Maria shook her head emphatically.
"All right." Once again, she turned away, but this time she was stopped by a weak voice.
"Wait." Maria gestured towards her purse on a nearby chair. Susan retrieved it and handed it to her. With shaky fingers, Maria pulled out the same telephone pocket-book she had given to Susan earlier. This time, she pointed out a different name.
"Nancy. You want me to call her?"
"Yes."
"Who is she?"
"A neighbour. My babysitter."
It took a moment for the implication to sink in and when it did, Susan stared down at her. "Babysitter!" she exclaimed. "Do you have a baby?"
"Yeah." Maria managed a smile.
"How old?"
"A year and four months. Her name's Rebecca, but I call her Becky."
From this startling news and the history she had taken earlier, the pieces of the puzzle began to fit together. "Is this why you didn't have treatment for your cancer? You didn't want to have chemotherapy during your pregnancy," Susan guessed. At the woman's nod, she continued. "But what about afterwards? You could have had surgery and then chemo."
"No. I had to look after Becky. Not...not..." She was gasping for breath again.
Susan quickly switched back to doctor-mode. "At least let me give you some oxygen. It's just a mask that will help you breathe." Relieved that Maria at least consented to that, she adjusted the mask over her face. "So what do you want me to do? Ask Nancy to bring your daughter here?"
Maria nodded, her large eyes fixated on Susan above the mask. She pressed the telephone book into her hand.
Susan left the room, her thoughts troubled. Something wasn't right. Maria claimed that she had no family members to contact; no parents, no siblings, no one. The only person she wanted to see was a man named Danny Gabbana. But for some reason, she was convinced that Danny wouldn't come to the hospital if he knew she was asking for him. Susan didn't like working under false pretenses, but she sensed the desperation in her patient. She would try again. And now, there was this new twist of a baby girl. What else was Maria holding back?
At the admit desk, she tried Danny's number again. A woman answered and Susan asked for Danny. After a brief moment, she was speaking to the man himself. "Mr. Gabbana, this is Dr. Susan Lewis. I left a message on your machine...Oh, I see. Well, this is highly unusual, but I wonder if you could come down to the ER in County General to talk with me...I would really rather not say over the phone...Again, it would be best if I could talk to you in person...Yes, I know it is and I'm sorry...That's right, the Emergency Room in County General...Dr. Lewis...All right, thank you. Goodbye."
She hung up. One down and one to go.
"Half an hour to go," stated a low voice at her side.
She looked up at John, her expression blank. "Huh?"
"You've got a half hour until you're off," he elaborated. He tilted his head to one side. "Something wrong?"
"No, it's nothing," she said quickly. "Just, uh, hang on a minute. I've got to make a phone call."
Nancy picked up the phone on the third ring. Susan explained Maria's situation to her and asked that she bring the baby to the hospital. She was unprepared for Nancy's vehement outburst in which she stated in no uncertain terms was she going near any hospital. With the dial tone resounding loudly in her ear, Susan stared at the receiver in her hand. "She hung up!"
"Who was that?"
"I don't believe this," she fumed. She caught John's questioning glance. "You know about my cancer patient."
"Maria," he filled in.
"Right. She's in Stage four and has never had treatment. The cancer has pretty much metastasized everywhere, including her lungs and I don't think she'll last the night. That's her babysitter I just called. Maria has a sixteen month old baby and the sitter won't bring her in. In Nancy's words, she 'ain't going near any hospital. That's where people go to die'."
"From what you're saying, she may be right."
"Carter!"
"Sorry, I'm not helping. Um, what if I bring the baby in?"
"No, no, there's got to be another way." She immediately dismissed that idea, her mind racing with other possibilities. Only then did she belatedly recognize the thoughtful kindness behind his offer. "Thanks for offering, though. That's sweet of you." She exhaled a sigh of frustration. "Maybe I'll talk to Maria again."
"Okay if I tag along?"
"Sure."
Back in the room, her patient seemed to be breathing easier. Susan removed the oxygen mask and introduced John. She then relayed her findings. "The good news is that Danny is on his way. The bad news is your babysitter. She refuses to bring Becky to the hospital. Is there anyone else that can bring her? Any other neighbours, maybe?"
"She's the only one I trust. Maybe if I talk to her..." Maria trailed off. Susan brought the phone closer to the bedside and dialled the number for her. But the mother of the child had no better luck. No amount of pleading or cursing seemed to have an effect on Nancy and the conversation was very brief. With tears in her eyes, Maria handed back the phone with a trembling hand. "What am I going to do? I'm dying. I know I am. I have to hold Becky one more time." Her laboured breaths were hitching on sobs, though she was trying to keep them contained.
"I'll go," John stated.
Susan shot him a look. "I don't know..."
"Why not? I'm off duty so it's on my own time. I don't mind."
"You would do that?" Maria asked, looking both incredulous and grateful at the same time.
"Yeah, I just need some directions."
As John got the details from Maria, Susan stepped back and gnawed at her lower lip. This was pretty unorthodox but she supposed he'd be doing nothing wrong. Besides, she was bending the rules herself in how she had approached Danny Gabbana. She really had no idea what his relationship was with Maria, but if she could grant this dying woman her one wish, she would do it.
Susan accompanied John out into the hallway. "You're sure about this?" she asked.
"Yeah, it's no big deal."
"Yes it is." Acting on impulse, without caring if anyone was watching, she pressed her lips against his. She made sure to pull back fairly quickly, keeping the moment light. Although this wasn't the first time they had kissed, she still felt a tingle in her toes. "You're a good man, Carter," she said softly.
With a silly grin, he ducked his head. It was nice to know she could make him blush too.
***************
As John approached the next street, he slowed down, squinting at the street sign. The night seemed very black, even with the glow of the tall lamps that dotted the edges of the road. The light on this particular corner was burnt out, so he couldn't read the sign until he was practically beneath it. This was the one.
Rounding the corner, he tried to quell the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. This wasn't exactly the upscale section of Chicago and definitely not the safest. He'd had his share of experiences in the inner city and didn't care to repeat them. Hopefully Nancy lived alone and not with a jealous boyfriend.
Scanning the row of townhouses, he found the number he was looking for. After parking the car, he made a final check on the baby carseat to make sure it was strapped in correctly. He'd borrowed it from the children's ward. Walking up the rough, cracked pathway to the house, his gaze darted around the surrounding darkness. Other than a barking dog and a couple of kids that seemed too young to be playing outside at this time of night, all was quiet. He knocked on the door and waited.
Just as he was about to knock again, a tentative voice called out, "Yeah?"
"Nancy? It's Dr. John Carter. I work at County General in the ER. Maria asked that I bring her daughter Becky to the hospital."
"Show me some ID," she demanded.
He hadn't thought to bring his hospital ID with him. Digging into his back pocket, he produced his driver's licence and held it up in front of the peephole. After another few seconds, the door swung open and he stepped inside.
He faced a young woman with stringy, unkempt hair and pale blue eyes that seemed too large for her thin face. She shut and bolted the door behind him. "What's your name again?"
"John Carter."
"Yeah, she told me you were coming. Some woman doctor."
"Dr. Lewis?"
"That's the one." She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "So Maria is really sick?"
"Afraid so." He sensed that she was genuinely concerned.
"I knew something was wrong today. She usually tells me ahead of time when she wants me to take Becky but today she kind of shoved her on me. Good thing I didn't have plans to go out tonight."
Although he continued to remain alert, his apprehension about the situation was diminishing. However, he didn't want to overstay his welcome. "So where's the baby?"
"I'll get her." As Nancy disappeared, John went to the window and peered outside. Good, at least his car was intact. She soon returned with the bundle wrapped in an old, but clean blanket. Becky was fast asleep, with one thumb and an index finger firmly clamped in her small mouth. Walking over to the couch, Nancy crouched down and buttoned her into a winter jumpsuit. Finally, she placed a knitted cap over the baby's head. With gentle hands, she worked quickly and efficiently. Becky never stirred from her slumber.
"You're good with her," John commented.
"Well, she's a good kid. Hardly any trouble at all. Not like my two little brats. It's real quiet tonight 'cause they're with my ex."
As he took the sleeping form into his arms, he asked, "Why don't you come with me? I'm sure Maria would like to see you."
Nancy shook her head, her nose wrinkling at the thought. "I hate hospitals. I'll wait 'til she comes back." She hesitated. "She is gonna get better, right? I mean, I know people go to the hospital to die but you fix them up too, right?"
John stood rooted to the spot, unsure of what to say. Although he hadn't examined Maria himself, from what Susan had told him, the prognosis didn't look good. "We'll make her as comfortable as possible," he said finally.
The answer seemed to satisfy her and he knew the underlying implication of his words had gone over her head. As he stepped outside, she curled her fingers in a little wave. "Bye, baby," she crooned.
The door slammed with a bang behind him and he hurried down the path, shielding the small form as best he could against the cold wind. "Let's go see your mom," he whispered.
***************
"What are you still doing here, Dr. Lewis?"
Susan didn't even look up, continuing to sign her charts. That was the second person to ask her that question. "Just finishing up," she said.
"Excuse me, I'm looking for Dr. Lewis."
Susan's head shot up and she got to her feet. Across the admit desk was a tall man with cheeks still reddened from the cold. "I'm Dr. Lewis."
"I'm Danny Gabbana." He gestured to the smaller woman who stood calmly at his side. "This is my wife, Joanne. Now, what's this all about? Is someone hurt?"
Susan moved out into the hallway. "If you could come this way, please." She ushered the couple towards Maria's room and stopped a few feet away. "Mr. Gabbana, someone you know was brought into the ER today and her condition is very critical. She has no immediate family to contact but she was very insistent that I try to reach you. However, she was afraid that you wouldn't come if I told you over the phone who it was."
While the predominant expression on his face was still one of concern, Susan could see the confusion creeping in. "Who is it?" he asked.
"Maria Hull."
His face registered nothing for an endless moment and she began to wonder if he didn't know Maria after all. Then, it was as if an explosion went off.
"Maria!" he thundered. "I don't believe this!" Looking around with a fierce glare, he marched towards her door. "Is this her room?" He made no attempt to go in, but gazed through the window. "That's her, all right," he sneered.
Taken aback by his outburst, Susan needed a moment to recover from the surprise. "Sir, this is a hospital. Please keep your voice down."
Turning away from the glass, his focus was now on her. "What lies has she been telling you?" He advanced on Susan until he was practically looming over her. "What even made you think I would want to see her?"
His attitude forced her to react defensively. "Look, I'm sorry, but I don't know anything beyond the fact that she wanted to see you. All she gave me was your name and phone number." Realizing that her own voice was raised a little too loudly, she lowered it. "Maria is dying. I don't think she'll make it through the night."
Danny stared down at her. "This isn't some sort of trick? She's really dying?"
"Yes."
"What's wrong with her?"
"Cancer."
His gaze slid away from hers and he looked uncomfortable. With a jerky motion, he unwound the scarf from his neck, as if he was suddenly too warm.
"Danny..."
Susan had almost forgotten about his wife, who had remained silent until now. "Maybe you should see her," Joanne suggested quietly.
Seeming to struggle with the idea, he finally came to a decision. "No. No way. I'm not letting her manipulate me again." He placed an arm around his wife's shoulder. "Come on, we're going."
Susan followed them towards the admitting area. While there was obviously a history between Danny and Maria that had caused such resentment in him, she still felt as though she'd let her patient down. She had to try one more time. "Mr. Gabbana, are you sure you won't reconsider?" she called after his back.
Whirling around, he almost poked her in the eye with his index finger. "You've done enough, Dr. Lewis. Dragging us down here the way you did..."
"Is there something wrong?" cut in a sharp female voice.
Susan barely resisted the urge to groan out loud. Just what she needed -- Kerry Weaver.
"Who are you?" Danny demanded.
"Kerry Weaver, Chief of Emergency Medicine. Is there something I can help you with?"
"Does that make you her boss?"
"Yes it does."
"Well, you tell her that she shouldn't lie to people over the phone to get her way--"
"I didn't lie to you," Susan interrupted, feeling her own temper rising. "I asked you to come down here so I could explain the situation to you."
"Whatever," Danny huffed.
"Would you like to file a formal complaint?" Kerry asked in a polite tone.
Susan managed to keep her composure but if looks could kill, Kerry would be engulfed in flames.
"Let's just go." Joanne tugged at her husband's sleeve, looking slightly embarrassed.
"Forget it," Danny muttered, allowing his wife to lead him away.
"What was that about?" Kerry questioned.
"Nothing."
"I would hardly call that nothing, Susan."
"It's nothing to be concerned about."
"It didn't sound that way to me."
While Kerry seemed so calm, Susan felt like bellowing out her frustration. She was distracted by the sight of John coming towards them with the baby in his arms.
"It took you long enough," she said shortly. "I was starting to worry."
"Sorry." He gave an involuntary shiver. "It's sure cold out there. I hope she was warm enough."
Kerry's confused gaze swung between John and the baby, and then back to Susan. "Whose baby is that? Okay, I want to know what's been going on, right now."
With a sigh, Susan launched into a lengthy explanation, starting with Maria being admitted into the ER. She ended with the scene that had played out between herself and Danny Gabbana.
"You shouldn't have called him down here like that," Kerry reprimanded. "It wasn't your place."
"She was just looking out for her patient," John said.
"I don't need you to defend me, Carter," Susan snapped, her nerves past the point of mere irritation. "Give her to me." She gently took the baby from his arms, careful not to jostle her. Becky was still sleeping soundly. Turning her back on both of them, she began walking away.
"Susan, we're not done yet," Kerry called after her.
She didn't bother replying and continued down the hall. All that mattered now, was getting this girl to her mother.
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