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Moonlight Reunion |
Chapter 1 |
The moon seemed to be glowing with exceptional brightness this evening. It was a comforting presence to John Carter. Whether he was gazing at it from his bedroom in Chicago or this hospital window in Phoenix, it remained the same moon. How many others in the world were regarding the same entity at this very moment? Hundreds? Perhaps thousands?
Faint voices intruded upon his melancholy thoughts and he turned his head slightly, distracted by the sound.
"Carter?"
"Yes?" He swung around fully, expecting to see a nurse or doctor before him. He blinked at the strange, yet familiar figure that was gaping at him.
"My God, it *is* you! I thought I was dreaming."
Susan Lewis beamed at him with a wide smile and John finally smiled back, taking hesitant steps towards her.
"Dr. Lewis, I...well, this is a surprise."
She looked exactly the same as he remembered, though her hair was longer. Little green Christmas trees dangled from her ears and a few strands of silver tinsel were caught in her hair. He reached out and plucked away the shiny threads.
Her eyes widened for a moment as his hand came towards her face. Then, as she saw the tinsel fall to the floor, she emitted a husky laugh. "We had a little party earlier. Guess I got carried away. So what are you doing here?"
"Here in the city or in the hospital?"
"Both."
"I have family in Phoenix. My parents and grandparents are out of the country right now, so my aunt and uncle invited me down here for Christmas. We were going for a walk after dinner and Aunt Beth slipped on some ice. I think it's just a sprain but I brought her in anyway."
They remained staring at each other for several moments until John spoke again. "So how have you been? How's your niece...uh, Suzie? And Chloe?"
"Suzie's great. And so is Chloe. They've gone away for Christmas too, to see my parents." She continued to gaze up at him, studying his face. "You look a lot older," she blurted out.
"Do I?" One corner of his mouth tilted upwards and he shrugged slightly. "You look great. I mean, you look the same."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
His expressive brown eyes had never been able to hide his feelings and as Susan regarded them, she wondered what had caused the gulf of sadness. She sensed that he'd been through a lot these past few years. Well, hadn't they all. She supposed she was no exception.
"Are you working on Christmas by choice?" John asked.
"Actually, yes, since I didn't have anyone to spend it with this year. Carter, don't look at me like that. I honestly don't mind."
"You didn't want to spend the holiday with your parents too?"
Susan grimaced, giving an emphatic shake of her head. "Not a chance. I'd rather curl up on the couch alone in my apartment with a cup of hot chocolate and a good movie."
John smiled tiredly, an expression of understanding on his face. "Guess I know what you mean. I'm not even sure why I came down here. I would've been just as happy on my own. Maybe I just wanted to get out of Chicago."
"Why, did something happen?" She waited patiently for a response but none seemed to be forthcoming. His eyes remained downcast and one foot shuffled against the floor. Aware that she had somehow struck a nerve, she decided to let him off the hook. "Well, anyway, I'm almost off. It was good to see you again."
John's gaze flew back to hers. He recognized that tone she was using; one that indicated this conversation was coming to a close. "Good to see you too," he responded automatically. "Are you, uh, just going straight home?"
"Yeah, unless..." She let the sentence trail off, trying to come to a decision. Her mind was inundated with questions. When she'd moved here, she'd cut off all ties with her life in Chicago. She'd been afraid that keeping in touch with anyone, like Mark or Carol, would have made it more difficult to stay away. At first, she'd been so tempted to pick up the phone and call Mark whenever she'd had a bad day. He had tried to get in touch with her numerous times but she'd ignored him. Eventually, he had stopped trying. "You want to grab a cup of coffee?" she finally asked.
"Yeah, that would be great."
***************
The hospital cafeteria was practically deserted. Christmas tunes played in the background as John and Susan sipped their coffees. They started their conversation on safe ground, talking about general topics like the cold weather.
Susan asked if he was still at County and John told her of some of the changes that had occured since she'd left. After a while, curiosity got the better of her. She tried to sound as casual as possible. "So how's Mark?"
John knew this question would arise but he hadn't yet decided how much information he should give. "You haven't kept in touch with him?"
Susan couldn't conceal the guilty look that flitted across her face. "No, I thought it would be best if, well..." Frowning, she paused for a moment before exhaling a sigh. "That's a lie. I did what was easiest, not what was best. So no, I have no idea what is happening in the life of my former best friend."
"He's engaged."
That news caught her off guard but as she probed her feelings, she was relieved to find no hint of jealousy. "That's great. I'm happy for him."
John told her a little about Elizabeth Corday and how well she and Mark seemed to suit each other. He didn't reveal Mark's medical condition. He remembered how close Mark and Susan had once been, but since circumstances had changed, he didn't feel it was his place to give the news.
"So what's been happening with you, Carter?"
He wasn't sure how to answer that question. The person he was now and the young medical student Susan had known were not the same. He had been so unbelievably naive and optimistic back then. What a fool he'd been. Realizing that Susan was staring at him, he fumbled to form a reply. "I've been doing okay."
"Just okay?" She regarded him with obvious doubt, once again struck by just how much older he looked. It wasn't just maturity or more lines around the eyes. He seemed weary and troubled. No, troubled wasn't the right word. Tortured. There was a lot going on behind those dark eyes. "Want to talk about it?"
The offer was tempting but he shook his head. "Believe me, you don't want to know."
"Sure I do," she said quietly.
"Let's just say I've messed up my life pretty badly, but I'm trying...God, I'm trying...to make it better. But sometimes I'm scared."
Susan could hear his voice trembling with emotion and her heart went out to him. What could possibly have happened to him? "Scared of what?" she asked.
"I don't know. I just can't afford to screw things up anymore."
"You won't."
"You sound so sure."
"That's because I am sure." Susan set her mug down. "Look at me, Carter." She waited until he returned her gaze. "I don't know what's happened to you, but you're a strong person and from what I saw when you were a student, you must have become a wonderful doctor. You can beat this and you will. You just need to believe in yourself."
"Oh, is that all?" he asked sarcastically.
"I know it sounds trite but that's where it starts."
"Sorry, I know you're trying to help me, but you just don't know the situation."
"No, I don't. Do you want things to get better?"
"Of course I do." Though he tried, he couldn't quite keep the annoyance out of his voice.
"Then you need to believe that it will. If you expect to fail or screw things up, then you will do exactly that. Trust me, I've been there."
Silence fell between them as John mulled over her advice. He knew it held value and he wondered if a part of him did expect to fail. She was right. He couldn't afford to start thinking like that. He had to believe that he could remain clean.
A high-pitched voice pierced into his thoughts. "I've been searching all over for you!"
They both glanced up to find a cheerful looking woman dressed in a hospital gown and robe, standing beside their table. She looked to be in her mid-fifties and with one hand, she dangled a sprig of mistletoe above their heads.
Susan got to her feet, placing a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Mrs. Fields, you shouldn't be here," she gently chastised. She'd admitted the older woman earlier in the afternoon and obviously, she'd wandered off. Psych was probably looking for her.
"Nonsense, of course I should." She smiled brightly at John. "Stand up, young man. Don't you know you need to give her a kiss?"
As John began to stand, Susan waved one hand at him. "Sit down. Mrs. Fields, let's get you back upstairs." She attempted to draw the woman away but Mrs. Fields wouldn't budge.
"Not until you get your kiss."
Susan was so focused on devising a way to convince her to leave, she didn't notice that John had moved to within inches of her. Startled by the warm hand at the base of her neck, she tilted her head back as he leaned down. "Carter..."
"She's right. This time, I'm going to get my kiss," he murmured.
This time? While her mind puzzled over that phrase, all thoughts were obliterated when his mouth found hers. Abandoning herself in the moment, her arms reached up, pulling him closer. This was Carter. Good Lord, what was she doing? As her lips moved against his, her heart started beating in double time and she unconsciously stopped breathing.
When he finally pulled away, she stepped back, breathless. Realizing that her mouth was still parted, she closed it abruptly.
Mrs. Fields clapped her hands with delight. "Now *that* was a kiss!" she exclaimed, with evident satisfaction.
Susan's pager started beeping and she glanced at the display. She had asked the ER to notify her when they'd finished examining Carter's aunt. "You'd better get back to the ER to see your aunt," she told John. "I'll look after Mrs. Fields."
Trying to gauge Susan's reaction to the kiss, he could only come to the conclusion that she looked completely distracted. "Are you coming back down?"
"Of course. I'll have to get my things."
Worried that he might miss her in the busy ER while he found his aunt, he thought it would be best to say their goodbyes here. He felt a little embarrassed with a stranger watching them, but he plunged ahead. "Thanks for our talk, Susan. I really needed it tonight."
"No problem. Just remember what I said."
"I will. Well, goodbye."
Wishing he could find the words he really wanted to say, he settled with hugging her tightly, closing his eyes against the scent of her hair.
Then he was gone and suddenly, Susan felt very alone.
"He seemed like a nice young man," Mrs. Fields said. She then whispered something so softly, Susan couldn't quite catch it.
"What did you say?"
"It's a magical time of year, right now. Did you know we had an eclipse today?"
A little bewildered by this turn of conversation, Susan nodded. She had heard something on the news about it.
Mrs. Fields continued on, displaying none of the gaiety she had shown just minutes earlier. She seemed very composed and solemn now. "This eclipse is a very rare occasion, and for it to happen on Christmas day makes it even more exceptional. Some people believe the moon has special powers. Do you believe that?"
"No, I can't say I do."
"Pity. The powers can't manifest themselves unless you believe."
Although she knew better than to be drawn into Mrs. Fields' tale, Susan couldn't help feeling unsettled. With an effort, she brushed off the feeling, telling herself this woman was a Psych patient.
As if on cue, a nurse from the Psych ward came into the cafeteria and breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted Mrs. Fields. With a fervent apology to Susan, the nurse led her away.
As Susan started to walk out of the room, she took a sideways glance out the large window. Not able to see anything but black sky, she stepped closer to the glass and peered upwards. There it was, shiny and round in its fullness.
"I still remember what you told me about the full moon."
Startled, she jumped slightly, finding Carter close to her side.
"I...I told you something?" she stammered.
"Yeah, you said it's when all the weirdos come out. Did you see any today in the ER?"
"No, it's been pretty quiet. Shouldn't you be with your aunt?"
"This will only take a minute. I just wanted to ask you if you'd ever consider coming back to Chicago."
"I...no, my life is here now." Hating herself for being so unnerved by his nearness, she spoke more abruptly than she should have.
"No regrets?"
"Carter, what is this, an inquisition? Do you think it just takes one kiss and I'm going to fall into your arms? Life doesn't work that way. And I don't believe in the damned moon!" When she saw the hurt puppy-dog look in his face, she immediately felt contrite. "Sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."
"I know. It's okay. And I'm not suggesting you need to come back to Chicago. It's just something to think about."
In a flash of movement, he grabbed her around the waist with one arm while the other clasped her hand. Spinning around, she began to laugh, feeling a little giddy. "What are you doing?" she managed to ask.
"Dancing with you. What does it look like?"
Feeling a warmth of pleasure at her bubbly laughter, John spun her around once more, bathed in the moonlight from above.
Completed December 2000
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