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Summer Rain And Roses |
Chapter 7 |
Kevin didn't call the next day or the day after that. While John was sorely tempted to pick up the phone and call Kevin, pride wouldn't allow it. He'd already made it abundantly clear to his cousin how he felt about Rose. He would give it another day and if there was still no news, he would talk to Rose himself.
In an attempt to ease his troubled thoughts, he filled his days with physical activities; swimming, biking, tennis and horseback riding. He'd almost forgotten how much he loved riding; the sense of freedom it gave. He spent some time exploring areas of the estate he hadn't seen in years. It brought back childhood memories of the times he had spent roaming the grounds, often getting scolded for straying too far. And while his physical exertions left him tired at the end of the day, it was almost a good feeling. One that he welcomed compared to the listless slump he'd been in at the hospital these past few months.
As an added bonus, his back appeared to be improving. He could now sit or stand for longer periods before the familiar ache would flare. And when the pain did come, the intensity and duration of it seemed to be decreasing. He had stopped physical therapy about six weeks ago but he'd been lax in keeping up with the exercises his therapist had recommended. He had no excuse, other than pure laziness. As a doctor, he really should know better.
Today, he'd spent most of the day running some errands and had only managed a late afternoon swim before dinner. He'd made himself a ham and cheese omelette, cleared away the dishes and now sat in front of the television. Though he usually enjoyed this particular program, he couldn't seem to get into it today. His mind kept wandering and he debated on whether he should give in and give Kevin a call.
A sharp rap at the front door startled him out of his thoughts. Tossing the remote control aside, he padded to the door and swung it open. His eyes widened with surprise and it took a moment to find his voice. "Uh...hi," he managed to say.
"Hi," Rose echoed softly. She smiled automatically, but if felt stiff and awkward. Since he appeared incapable of speaking, she plowed gamely on ahead. "Sorry to come unannounced, like this. Is this a bad time?"
Finally seeming to come to his senses, John shook his head. "No, I was just watching TV. Come on in."
He stepped back to allow her access. It had only been a few days since he'd last been with her but seeing her now, he realized how much he'd missed her. Happiness warred with apprehensiveness, as he wondered what she would have to say.
Closing the door, he told her to have a seat anywhere. He flicked off the television and sat in a chair across from her. She perched on the edge of the couch, trying her best to look relaxed.
"So I..."
"Can I..."
They both chuckled, their mutual discomfort apparent as their voices overlapped.
"You first," John offered.
"No, please, you go ahead."
"Well, I was just going to offer you a drink."
"Oh. No, I'm fine, thank you."
A long measure of silence followed this exchange, as if they were afraid to make another false start.
Rose finally took the first step. "I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here." Crossing her legs, she smoothed imaginary wrinkles from her long skirt. She hoped this position would cease the involuntary bouncing of her left knee. She couldn't seem to sit still. Good grief, she was worse than her son.
"Kevin must have talked to you," John guessed.
"We did talk a little, but I probably would have come on my own anyway. What I did to you the other night wasn't fair." She still remembered the complete look of bewilderment and hurt on his face, before she'd escaped from the car. "I just want to explain things to you so you'll understand the dilemma." Hesitating, she gave him a rueful smile. "I thought I had everything planned out but now that I'm here, I don't know where to start."
Though he was filled with questions, John simply returned an encouraging smile. "Just take your time. I'm not going anywhere."
Taking a deliberate breath, she began her story. Somehow, her words flowed forth in a calm manner that belied her inner tension. "My mother died when I was very young. I was five. My father raised me by himself. He was a good man...very loving. He worked long hours, but he always picked me up from school so we could spend the evening together. He would bring some work home, or sometimes he'd go back to the office." She stopped suddenly, aware that she had already begun to defend her father. It hadn't taken her long to break her vow of remaining objective and sticking to the facts.
John noticed her hands gripping the edge of the couch. While it was quite apparent to him how difficult this was for her, overall, she hid her discomfort well. He didn't have to wait long for her to pick up the thread again.
"Although I didn't understand what was happening back then, my father got involved with gambling. He got himself deeper and deeper into debt. He was also depressed a lot...lonely with only me for company. I don't think he ever got over my mother's death. He would often tell me that she was the only woman he could ever love." Here, she paused once again to give a brief shake of her head. "I'm getting off course again. I don't want to make this into an endless saga."
"Take as long as you like, Rose. I want to hear anything you care to tell me."
"Well, let me get to the heart of the matter. Yes, I still think of my father with loving memories, but part of me used to hate him too. I've long since forgiven him but he did some terrible things. He was the co-founder of a successful company and did very well in the business world. But the gambling started to take over and he got desperate. He began stealing funds from the company and got caught. But that's not the worst of it. He killed himself."
John sucked in a breath, unprepared for that last statement. "Oh, God."
"And here's the most interesting fact. Care to guess what company my father helped to establish and almost destroy?"
He blinked, not quite sure of where this was leading. "Um..."
"Carter Enterprises," she informed him.
Stunned, John could only stare at Rose with raised eyebrows.
When he failed to comment, she continued on. "You can understand now why your family would hardly welcome me with open arms, especially your grandfather. It was Laird Carter and Ethan Philips that built what has grown into Carter Enterprises. You'll note that 'Philips' has been removed from the name."
"It used to be Carter Philips Enterprises?" John asked.
"Yes."
"I had no idea," he murmured.
"Most people don't. While the company did well, even in the beginning, it was still small. Nowhere near the conglomerate it's become now."
John shifted in the chair, trying to absorb all of this startling information. "But you're working for Carter Enterprises. How did that happen?"
"It's pretty ironic, I know. But really, it's thanks to Kevin's father."
Just when he thought he'd had his fill of surprises for one evening, another one popped up. "Uncle Robert?"
"Right. Joshua was close to a year old and I was staying with friends, working a dead end job. An agency, one of those headhunters, called me out of the blue and wanted to meet with me. I certainly didn't have anything to lose. But I couldn't believe it when the first company they set me up with was Carter Enterprises. I wasn't even going to go, but part of me was curious. I ended up having the interview with Robert Carter. I figured I didn't have a chance anyway, so I was totally honest with him about my history. Believe me, no one was more shocked than me when he insisted he didn't care. He still wanted to hire me. His only stipulation was that I keep it a secret from Laird."
John spoke slowly, still connecting the pieces of the puzzle in his mind. "So that's why you don't want to see me. You're afraid that Grandfather will find out the truth. And then your career is over."
Rose nodded, feeling a wave of shame at her selfishness. "I like you a lot, John. I really do. But I should have listened to my instincts and stayed away from you. It's just that you were so charming and I...I..." Her voice trailed off, as if she was finally out of steam after talking for so long. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I seem to be at a loss now."
John sat still for several moments, then crossed the short span between them to sit beside her. While numerous thoughts and feelings coursed through his mind, he wanted to make one thing clear. "Rose, first of all, thank you for being honest with me. I know this can't have been easy for you. And second, I want you to know that none of what you've told me affects how I feel about you." He paused, as she turned a hesitant gaze towards his, as if gauging his sincerity. "I don't want you to stay away from me. I want to give this a chance...give us a chance. I couldn't care less what Grandfather would think. He doesn't have to know."
"But we couldn't hide it forever," Rose protested. Part of her was elated that John would still want to see her, but the majority of her being was filled with doubt. It wasn't an emotion she acknowledged very often, and she didn't care for it at all. How could it be possible that professionally, she was confident and decisive at even the most difficult of times. And yet when it came to her personal life, she often felt like the proverbial deer in the headlights, uncertain which way to turn. "If he found out we were seeing each other, that would be bad enough. But if he also found out I was working within his company, not only would it affect me, it would involve Robert too." She exhaled a heavy breath of frustration. "He's been so good to me. Almost like a surrogate father. I can't take the chance of hurting him too."
Dropping her head in her hands, she couldn't contain the slight moan that escaped her lips. "I've made a complete mess of things. If only I hadn't agreed to go out with you in the first place, this never would have happened. Now I'm hurting you too. I'm so sorry, John."
"Hey, it's okay." Seeing her hunched over in complete misery, his heart went out to her. He rubbed her back in a soothing motion, all the while, trying to figure out a way to convince her not to give up. He couldn't simply let her walk out of his life. He'd made that mistake with Anna and he'd be damned if he'd make that same mistake again. Granted, the situation here was a little different. He certainly wasn't in love with Rose. Not yet, though he already cared for her a great deal. But he wasn't so blind that he didn't recognize the potential. "You have nothing to apologize for," he said quietly. "In fact, I should be thanking you."
As Rose straightened up to glance at him with questioning eyes, John let his hand fall to the side. "Thanking me? For what?" she asked, rather caught off guard by that remark.
"You've given me something to focus on, other than myself. I haven't been happy for months now. You, uh, must know what happened to me last February."
"Yes, I know." She could have added that she also knew how worried Kevin and Robert had been about him. And that even though she hadn't known him personally then, she'd prayed for his well being. Now that she had come to know John, she shuddered slightly, thinking how close he'd come to being killed. But she said nothing of this, and simply waited for him to continue.
"Being a doctor has defined my life. It's not just my job, it's who I am. Or at least, that's the way I felt before I got stabbed. Then, with Lucy dying and me just barely escaping death, I don't feel the same way anymore. I'd be at the hospital sometimes and my mind would just drift away. I'd wonder what else I could be doing at that moment. And the scary thing was, most times I didn't have an answer. It's like being a doctor is the only thing I know how to do. Isn't life too short for that? Shouldn't there be more to it?" Capturing one of Rose's hands within his own, he rushed on without waiting for a response. "That's where you come in. I'm not saying you're the answer to my problems. But I really feel a connection to you. I feel like...like I can tell you anything. I don't know what it is, or how to explain it. Do I sound crazy?"
Distracted by the warmth of his hand, she shook her head. "No, not crazy," she whispered.
He edged even closer towards her, their shoulders barely touching. He kept his gaze focused on her profile, until she turned those lovely eyes towards his. "Do you feel it too? This connection between us?"
Much as she wanted to deny it, she couldn't. "Yes. But we hardly even know each other. How do we know if this is real?"
"We take a risk. I know it's asking a lot of you, Rose, but I'm asking you anyway. I'll do everything in my power to make sure Grandfather doesn't find out about us or your job. And if things don't work out between us, that's okay. I'm already glad that you came into my life. Nothing can change that. But I don't want to lose you now before we even begin. It's up to you."
So the decision was entirely in her control. Conflicting thoughts and emotions clouded her brain, and she couldn't trust herself to think logically. She felt frozen by fear of the unknown. "I don't know. I need time to think."
"All right." While part of him was disappointed by that response, at least she hadn't refused him outright. There was still hope.
"I'd better go."
Pulling away from him, she got to her feet. He led her towards the door, almost reluctant to let her leave. He was afraid she'd never come back. "So you'll call me, then?" he asked.
"Yes. Yes, I'll call you." She sounded almost detached; her face strangely blank.
Without looking back, she left the house and he closed the door. With a tired sigh, he retreated to the couch. He'd learned some fascinating facts this evening. Who could have guessed that his family history would be tied to Rose's past? He supposed his childhood had been idyllic, compared to the tragedy she had endured.
His thoughts were interrupted by another knock. Wondering if she'd forgotten something, he retraced his steps and flung open the door. He stared at her wordlessly, watching as the wind rippled her skirt and tossed her flowing hair every which way. With deliberate steps, she crossed the threshold and stood before him, the hint of a smile on her lips.
"I'm taking a risk," she stated, her eyes locked with his.
He remained calm, despite the immediate burst of joy that seemed to radiate from within. "What changed your mind?" he had to ask.
"I take risks almost every day at work, usually without thinking twice. I figure my heart is more important than my job." Stepping closer towards him, she tilted her head upwards. "All I ask is that you take good care of it."
Drawing one arm around her waist, he kicked the door shut with one foot. His other hand traced the edge of her mouth and as he leaned down to kiss her, he whispered, "I will. I promise."
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